


I'm Sorry

by IsaacTheGreat69



Series: Abusive Anxeit [1]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Abusive Ex, Angry Patton, Arguments, M/M, Past Abuse, implied/mentioned non-con
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-30
Updated: 2018-08-30
Packaged: 2019-07-04 11:55:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,139
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15840795
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IsaacTheGreat69/pseuds/IsaacTheGreat69
Summary: Based on this post: https://technicallycreativ.tumblr.com/post/169134891136/some-concepts-for-you-to-think-about





	I'm Sorry

Virgil has no idea how he got here. In the middle of his and Patton’s shared apartment, Patton standing across from him and conveniently blocking the door. Patton is mad. No, not just mad,  _livid_. He can’t remember ever seeing Patton this angry. He’s seen Patton frustrated, annoyed, vexed, pretty much every emotion, negative or positive, but never so angry that his face was red, his voice seeming deeper, his words cutting into Virgil like knives, his eyes glaring. He didn’t mean for any of this to happen, he never wanted to hurt anyone. He thought Patton out of everyone would understand.

_**Virgil had been taking a walk down to the local park, as part of a suggestion from Patton to get out of the apartment more. “Fresh air and sunshine helps chase away bad feelings!” He’d said. So here Virgil was, hands in the pockets of his hoodie and head down, earbuds blocking out the noise from the other park-goers.** _

“I didn’t want it to be like this, but I had no control!” Virgil’s fists clench, his nails digging into his palms. His hummingbird heartbeat makes him feel light-headed. Or maybe that’s the growing panic. He doesn’t want to lose Patton. 

 ** _He’d found the nearest bench and parked his ass on it, relaxing in the shade and people-watching as he listened to music. He listened to all of Folie A Deux before someone had sat on the bench next to him, and he had every intention of ignoring the other until there was a hand on his leg forcing him to look up, fully prepared to rip this creep a new one. When he saw who it was though, his blood ran cold._ Him _. Oh god, what is_ He  _doing here?_ He  _practically leers at Virgil as he shrinks into himself almost instinctively. “Hello,_ Virge _.”_**  

“Yes you did! Quit playing the victim, Virgil, and take responsibility for your actions!” Patton’s shoulders were squared, his brow furrowed and mouth twisted into a frown. It honestly scared Virgil to see him like this. He took a step back, legs meeting the couch but he stayed standing. “What is that supposed to mean?” Patton cards a hand through his hair, mussing it a bit. “Look, I get it, you- you’re messed up. You’ve had it bad, but at some point you have to stop blaming the world and what happened to you for the way you act and take some responsibility for yourself. You’re not a child anymore.” 

**_Virgil felt like he wanted to scream. Or vomit. Or cower in a corner. Suddenly months of reassurances from both Patton and himself meant nothing and he was right back where he was a year and a half ago, a timid flea under_ His  _thumb._ He  _squeezes Virgil’s thigh,_ His  _eyes making him feel naked. “I’ve missed you_ so  _much. How have you been?”_**

**_“B-better, without you.” Virgil tries to sit up straight, to seem more confident, because_ He can’t control you,  _Patton’s told him that dozens of times._ He  _laughs. “I know you’re lying, Virge. You miss me, admit it.” It wasn’t a request, or a question. It was an order._  
**

Virgil can’t help but scoff at that. “Oh, really? Because you sure act like I am. Calling me ‘kiddo’ and babying me all the fucking time like I can’t do anything for myself!”

Patton throws his hands up, turning and taking two steps away before turning back on Virgil and coming even closer. “You were  _hurting_ , and I was  _helping_ you! I’m  _so sorry_  if that was inconvenient for you! Was I  _smothering_? Did you think I was  _clingy_? Were things  _so bad_  you felt like you had to- to- just to get a break?” Tears had formed in Patton’s eyes, and Virgil felt his heart shatter in his chest.  _No. No no no no no!_  

**_“I-I don’t!”_ He  _tsks softly. “Careful now, you’re going to draw attention to us.” That warning tone that_ He  _always used when Virgil was doing something_ He  _didn’t like was still there, and it still make Virgil shudder. “I-I don’t. I don’t miss you...” The hand on his thigh leaves, and he’s just about to sigh in relief when the hand returns to grip his chin and forces Virgil to look_ Him  _in the eyes. “Don’t lie to me.”_**

**_“I- I’m sorry-”  
_ **

“Pat, please! I’m sorry!” Virgil takes a step closer to Patton, his hands out in front of him but too afraid to actually touch the other. Patton just shakes his head.

**He _grimaces, standing and grabbing Virgil by the wrist, hauling him to his feet as well. Virgil tries to pull his wrist back but_ He’s _always been stronger. Virgil gives in, afraid to cause a scene and make_ Him  _angry. They make it back to_ His  _place, what used to be their place, and Virgil feels cold. He can’t go back in there. No, not again. He won’t do it. Virgil plants his feet as they’re crossing the front lawn, refusing to take another step. When_ He  _feels resistance_ He  _turns to glare at Virgil and pulls on his arm hard, making Virgil gasp in pain. “Do not make me angry, Anxiety.” And just like that, all fight had left Virgil. Anxiety was a nickname_ He  _had given Virgil since, as_ He  _put it, ‘That’s all you are’._ He  _drags Virgil through the doorway and shuts the door loudly behind them, making Virgil jump. He doesn’t even get a word in before_ His  _mouth is on Virgil’s._**

Patton starts heading for the door, and that’s when Virgil moves. He’s shaking from head to toe, weakly grabbing at Patton’s sweater still around his shoulders. He’s still afraid to touch him.  _Or does he think he doesn’t deserve to?_  Virgil’s eyes burn as Patton stops, but doesn’t turn to face him. “I- I just-”

**_Virgil hadn’t fought back. He knew how much worse it would be if he did. When_ He’s  _done,_ He  _sneers down at Virgil who’s blankly staring at the wall with tears running down his face. “You’re such an easy slut. You don’t deserve love, or happiness; you taint everything you touch. You’re not a person, you’re an object to be used and passed around.”_ He  _gets dressed, speaking over_ His  _shoulder as_ He  _leaves the room. “You have five minutes to get the fuck out of my house.”_**

“You just  _what_ , Virgil?” Patton’s voice is strained, and Virgil can’t see his face. He rubs at the hickey poking out over the collar of his shirt; what had started this whole mess. “....I’m sorry.” Patton grabs his keys and wallet off the table by the door before leaving, and it’s the broken silence that follows that finally has Virgil breaking down, crumpling to the carpet and sobbing openly into his hands.

**Author's Note:**

> So yeah i got hella into this tbh and if theres any interest ill write it into a series  
> like, with backgrounds and sequels/prequels  
> we'll see


End file.
